wow! i wanna scream out my tiredness, unsatisfied, my stress, my everything that make me unhappy.
After 8 months + in this company, i think it is enough. I said so because of the stress that the people gave me. I'm unhappy working in this kind of environment. Can say this kind of job, it is not suitable for me. But sometimes i do like it. I think i need someone to talk to and help me to figure out what i want actually.
I knew the problem is because of myself. This is a time for me to change and become better. i must go through it. If i quit, i'm a failure.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Not a challenging life anymore.
I hope to change, everythings in my life except for my lovely and warm family as well as my good future husband.Things that i hope to change is my career, my qualification, my aim, my laziness, my financial status, my unconfident, my thinking.
This few weeks i met with many nice people, Ket and Hui Yi. Listen to their stories make me motivated but what is life really about? The more people i met, the more i confuse what i want. I thought i could be a simple girl who want simple things but there are many comments from people around me that make me can't stick to what i want.
I been thinking be stable and don't be materialistic but when i see what my cousins or friends with their latest gadgets, i hope i could own one. I thought i can be a full time housewife and taking care of my family but when i heard what my manager say, i feel like embrasse to have this thinking.I learned to be excel in your work place in any kind of environment but when i heard my friends said of their company's benefit, i hope to changed my job to a better company.
Should i just stay in a shell and avoid myself from everybody? I don't know who can understand me.
Now i'm facing my June 2010 ACCA exam. I left with 2 papers (F8 and P6). I want to pass both of them and start my new life again. I want to be a successful person and will be center of the crowd. I'm not sure whether i can do it with my shyness.
This few weeks i met with many nice people, Ket and Hui Yi. Listen to their stories make me motivated but what is life really about? The more people i met, the more i confuse what i want. I thought i could be a simple girl who want simple things but there are many comments from people around me that make me can't stick to what i want.
I been thinking be stable and don't be materialistic but when i see what my cousins or friends with their latest gadgets, i hope i could own one. I thought i can be a full time housewife and taking care of my family but when i heard what my manager say, i feel like embrasse to have this thinking.I learned to be excel in your work place in any kind of environment but when i heard my friends said of their company's benefit, i hope to changed my job to a better company.
Should i just stay in a shell and avoid myself from everybody? I don't know who can understand me.
Now i'm facing my June 2010 ACCA exam. I left with 2 papers (F8 and P6). I want to pass both of them and start my new life again. I want to be a successful person and will be center of the crowd. I'm not sure whether i can do it with my shyness.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Kelly's Wedding Dinner
Yesterday night i went to a wedding dinner which is most special to me and all the time i just look at the bride, the bride's photos, videos, the decoration and i so amazed. It is so nice and special and i'm sure this is what many girls envy about. She has a beautiful life and good husband. Wish her can have a wonderful life with her loving husband.
But there is some incident happen also the first time i experience this in a wedding dinner. After few dished have been served, there is suddenly black out for bout 30 minutes. This is the restaurant responsibility as they did not have power generator or any spare light in case of emergency.
Many friends of the bride's father has went home and my father say we have to stay as we are close to the host. But after awhile it is hot inside there and parents decide to go, while we on the way out, suddenly there is lights and everything back to normal. I feel so bad and faster go back to our seat. Hopefully the host don't see us betraying them. But i enjoy so much after the incident. The bridegroom has make apology and express their feeling of touched because we still stay there and did not give them up.
I feel so touch too. The bride is crying, not sure because she is angry and disappointed because her 100% wedding dinner has spoil or because she is touched. No matter what, she is still making me envy her. The bridegroom sang a song for his wife. The lyrics tell that they have couples for 7 years but the memory of coupling still fresh in his mind. Wow~ so touched! :)
After the dinner we went home. I watched drama while do colouring. While i'm rushing to clean up myself, my toe hit the wall and my toenail has break. It is so pain and when i look at it, it is bleeding. I quickly ask yong qi to call my mother over. And i start crying. Mum keep saying "oh, sayang ar, don't cry don't cry. I know it is pain. Dont cry". I feel like i'm a small kid again. :)
Now i still scare of seeing my nails and i dont know how to take bath and go out. Hope it will recover asap.
But there is some incident happen also the first time i experience this in a wedding dinner. After few dished have been served, there is suddenly black out for bout 30 minutes. This is the restaurant responsibility as they did not have power generator or any spare light in case of emergency.
Many friends of the bride's father has went home and my father say we have to stay as we are close to the host. But after awhile it is hot inside there and parents decide to go, while we on the way out, suddenly there is lights and everything back to normal. I feel so bad and faster go back to our seat. Hopefully the host don't see us betraying them. But i enjoy so much after the incident. The bridegroom has make apology and express their feeling of touched because we still stay there and did not give them up.
I feel so touch too. The bride is crying, not sure because she is angry and disappointed because her 100% wedding dinner has spoil or because she is touched. No matter what, she is still making me envy her. The bridegroom sang a song for his wife. The lyrics tell that they have couples for 7 years but the memory of coupling still fresh in his mind. Wow~ so touched! :)
After the dinner we went home. I watched drama while do colouring. While i'm rushing to clean up myself, my toe hit the wall and my toenail has break. It is so pain and when i look at it, it is bleeding. I quickly ask yong qi to call my mother over. And i start crying. Mum keep saying "oh, sayang ar, don't cry don't cry. I know it is pain. Dont cry". I feel like i'm a small kid again. :)
Now i still scare of seeing my nails and i dont know how to take bath and go out. Hope it will recover asap.
MIA !!
Wow, it has been bout 6 months i have missing in action. No blog mean not much unhappy things happen during this period. Today i'm blogging because i want to update my current status with my current performance.
Last sitting i'm so fortunate to pass the paper that i wanted to give up. And, what is more happy is that i have passed 2 papers in first sitting. But i also failed 2 papers. One of it is the one i really don't know to tackle it.
This sitting (Dec 2009), i took my last 3 papers in ACCA. I resit 2 out of 3 papers. I have a little bit confident to pass 2 out of the 3 papers. but the one i really headache about is the paper that i tried for the 4th times. I will always chant that i can pass all 3 papers and i want to turn impossible things into possible as what he always says.
This round exam is not that good. All 3 papers squeeze in to 4 days of exam. I have limited time to study and i feel so lazy and tired to study.
Today is the first day after exam and i went to interview in DHL, they offer quite attractive salary but i'm still thinking whether my decision of taking the job is correct or not. Now i have a thinking, since all the big audit firm don't want to accept me as my result still unknown, should i just take the job and wait till my results out first then only decide? Em, i need to chant about it and see how later.
Before i wish to have a job that is from big company, offer good remuneration, give high salary, convenient and i am able to attend meeting and also Culture Fest in 2010. This DHL has fulfill my all the requirements. Thank so much to myself, the determination and the clear mind of chanting.
During exam week, while i'm study, i have lots of things want to do after exam which include :
I want to shopping to buy things but i dont have money. My boss also going to broke as i always ask him to pay this and that. Sorry Boss! I love u so much~~!!
Last sitting i'm so fortunate to pass the paper that i wanted to give up. And, what is more happy is that i have passed 2 papers in first sitting. But i also failed 2 papers. One of it is the one i really don't know to tackle it.
This sitting (Dec 2009), i took my last 3 papers in ACCA. I resit 2 out of 3 papers. I have a little bit confident to pass 2 out of the 3 papers. but the one i really headache about is the paper that i tried for the 4th times. I will always chant that i can pass all 3 papers and i want to turn impossible things into possible as what he always says.
This round exam is not that good. All 3 papers squeeze in to 4 days of exam. I have limited time to study and i feel so lazy and tired to study.
Today is the first day after exam and i went to interview in DHL, they offer quite attractive salary but i'm still thinking whether my decision of taking the job is correct or not. Now i have a thinking, since all the big audit firm don't want to accept me as my result still unknown, should i just take the job and wait till my results out first then only decide? Em, i need to chant about it and see how later.
Before i wish to have a job that is from big company, offer good remuneration, give high salary, convenient and i am able to attend meeting and also Culture Fest in 2010. This DHL has fulfill my all the requirements. Thank so much to myself, the determination and the clear mind of chanting.
During exam week, while i'm study, i have lots of things want to do after exam which include :
1. shopping with yong qi ( tomorrow i will bring her to Times Square, accompany me shopping :P )
2. Tidy up my room (no not yet, it take one day or two to do that)
3. Develop pictures and tidy up photos (it is on the floor, very messy)
4. Renew my passport ( i wish to celebrate my 7th anniversary with him in Hong Kong. I want to shopping there and enjoy our sweet moments there)
5. Go KWSP office to check the beneficiary names
6. Have a hairdo. ( I want to change my hair style before get into a new working environment)
7. Have a party with my friends ( I will organise a bbq / steamboat on 19th Dec at home - hope most of them will come and our relation will become closer and closer)
8. etc (i can't remember)
2. Tidy up my room (no not yet, it take one day or two to do that)
3. Develop pictures and tidy up photos (it is on the floor, very messy)
4. Renew my passport ( i wish to celebrate my 7th anniversary with him in Hong Kong. I want to shopping there and enjoy our sweet moments there)
5. Go KWSP office to check the beneficiary names
6. Have a hairdo. ( I want to change my hair style before get into a new working environment)
7. Have a party with my friends ( I will organise a bbq / steamboat on 19th Dec at home - hope most of them will come and our relation will become closer and closer)
8. etc (i can't remember)
I want to shopping to buy things but i dont have money. My boss also going to broke as i always ask him to pay this and that. Sorry Boss! I love u so much~~!!
Today is Kelly's wedding i have the opportunity to go your wedding which is FOC. Thanks to brother who can't make it and parents ask me to replace.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
1 more before June 2009 exam
Exam coming in 1 month time and i still can't concentrate in my studies. i waste my time to sleep in the day time and watch tv. I'm so unhappy with my current mode. lazy mode. I'm taking 4 papers this sitting which 3 of it is new papers and 1 resit paper. I've plan to give up one of the paper but he thinks it is not a right way. I'm still in dilemma. My thinking is 1 fail is better than 4 papers also fail.
Anyhow, i will do my best and create miracle! Nam Myo Ho Ren Geh Kyo!
Anyhow, i will do my best and create miracle! Nam Myo Ho Ren Geh Kyo!
Monday, April 6, 2009
After 1 week of getting freedom
After i resign i got a sore throat with flu . So i can't really enjoy my holidays. I'm not satisfied with my 1 week holidays. i suppose to be hardworking to study and do revision but i didn't. I sleep more than 6 hours a day and i spent most of the time to watch TV. i did some reading but it is not sufficient and i didn't go to gym which i suppose to.
I'm feeling bad mood today. Want to be alone. Tomorrow onwards i need to kick off my bad habits and start making my life challenging and useful.
Good luck to myself and all the best!
I'm feeling bad mood today. Want to be alone. Tomorrow onwards i need to kick off my bad habits and start making my life challenging and useful.
Good luck to myself and all the best!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Meaningless April Fool's day 2009
This year's April Fool's day i'm very lucky because i did not being teased by anyone. Today is the first day unemployed after work for 2 years and 8 months in this company. i woke up at 7am by my biological clock but i nap n enjoy the morning till 8.20am. What a great morning.
I went to many places to do my own stuffs and also went back to office to clean up my things. i'm quite stupid because i always offer help that i suppose not to. i will being cheated and being used by them. So i just talk but no action. Very sorry to them.
My lunch with my ex-colleagues is not that happy. i being so quiet to observe their behaviour, their eye to eye contact, their wording and so on. feel this bunch of friend is not what i think last time. although there is once we are very friendly but there sure will have some pitfalls.
Communication is very important but it is not easy to do. i knew it is important but i can't talk to them, ask them what has happenned. Anyhow, communication should be a two way, include 2 parties willing to talk openly.
This coming saturday i should have a dinner with his family to celebrate his mum's birthday but what a conincident that my father's birthday also fall on the same date. I don't hope it will be like this but what can i do? I hope he can understand me and be with me all the time but sometimes life is like that. You can deeply love someone today, the feeling is very sweet but at the end of the day, everything turn upside down.
Overall, today is not a happy day.
I went to many places to do my own stuffs and also went back to office to clean up my things. i'm quite stupid because i always offer help that i suppose not to. i will being cheated and being used by them. So i just talk but no action. Very sorry to them.
My lunch with my ex-colleagues is not that happy. i being so quiet to observe their behaviour, their eye to eye contact, their wording and so on. feel this bunch of friend is not what i think last time. although there is once we are very friendly but there sure will have some pitfalls.
Communication is very important but it is not easy to do. i knew it is important but i can't talk to them, ask them what has happenned. Anyhow, communication should be a two way, include 2 parties willing to talk openly.
This coming saturday i should have a dinner with his family to celebrate his mum's birthday but what a conincident that my father's birthday also fall on the same date. I don't hope it will be like this but what can i do? I hope he can understand me and be with me all the time but sometimes life is like that. You can deeply love someone today, the feeling is very sweet but at the end of the day, everything turn upside down.
Overall, today is not a happy day.
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